The Nightmare
by Goldberry09
Summary: Kain has not yet come to terms with the way he was controlled by Zemus.


The five warriors were nearing the end of their adventure. Whether it would end in triumph or in their own agonizing deaths and the destruction of the entire Blue Planet was anybody's guess, though the latter seemed more likely. They were approaching the huge, oddly glowing tower wherein they knew Zemus awaited them. But now their road appeared blocked. A sheer cliff lay between them and the tower, rising 5 fathoms above their heads, and they saw no cave through which to pass, as they had the other cliffs on the moon.

"There must be a cave somewhere," said Edge. "Let's look this way," he pointed east, where the ground seemed rockier and full of more pits.

"No," Cecil shook his head. "We don't have time. FuSoYa and… my brother need us. I can feel it."

"What then?" Edge sounded aggravated. He of all the party was not used to following Cecil, and spoiled prince that he was, did not like taking orders.

"Easy," Cecil smiled as he took off his pack and drew a length of coiled rope from it. He handed it to Kain. "For Kain, anyway."

Kain took the rope without a word and glanced up at the cliff for a second, gauging its height before he sprung. He landed lightly at the top. Finding nothing to secure the rope to, he tied it around his waist and wrapped it around his hands a couple times before tossing the other end down.

"You'd better come up one at a time," he called down to his companions.

"Go ahead, Rosa," said Cecil.

Rosa looked doubtfully at the rope and then at Cecil, who smiled encouragingly at her.

"Don't worry," he said. "I'll catch you if you fall."

She smiled nervously and swallowed. But she took the rope and, pushing against the cliff with her legs, began to scale the rock wall. It was not as bad as she had expected. Her near-constant use of a bow had strengthened her arms. She had always been slim, but the constant travel, and before that her imprisonment, had made her almost as light as Rydia. The worst part was when, close to the top, she glanced down before she could stop herself. She had never liked heights; that short glance was enough to make her dizzy, and her sweaty hands slipped on the rope. She fell a couple feet before she was able to catch herself on a slight protrusion on the cliff face and tighten her hold on the rope. She looked up determinedly at Kain, and continued her ascent. Finally, she was within reach of Kain. He leaned over the edge and grabbed her hand, hoisting her up the rest of the way. As she scrambled over the top, he paused, staring at the hand he held. There are some things white magic cannot do. It can only heal recent wounds, and it cannot erase scars. On both of Rosa's hands, encircling her wrists, were ugly, raised, red scars. Kain closed his eyes and looked away, and as soon as she was safely on her own feet, he released her as if the touch of her skin burned his own hands. Though it was hard for most people to tell what Kain was feeling with his ever-present helmet obscuring much of his face, Rosa had known him for almost all her life. She knew something was wrong, though she had not noticed him look at her hands so she knew not what, but she watched him with concern as he held the rope for Cecil. Kain's strength was in his legs, and Cecil easily weighed 200 pounds with all of his armor. Kain was soon sweating profusely, but his strength held until Cecil reached the top. With Cecil's help, raising Rydia and finally Edge was a breeze.

Cecil recoiled the rope and stowed it back in his pack. He took the lead toward the ominous tower, which was now close enough to bathe them all in its greenish glow. Kain remained staring down at the bottom of the cliff for a moment. When he finally turned to follow his friend, he saw that Rosa was still staring at him. He quickly looked at the ground and walked past her.

"Are you alright, Kain?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he answered without looking back.

Rosa was not convinced, but she decided now was not the time to press the issue. And so Kain was left alone with his memories.

_It is dark. It is always dark in this place. I see my Master. He is standing in the middle of the room, looking as always into the pool of dark water that lies there. I go to stand by him and I too gaze into the inky depths. The water ripples, though there is no breath of air in this windowless room. Then the water clears and I can see light in it, blinding light. It pains my eyes. At first, I can see nothing else. But slowly objects come into focus. I see a tall mountain under a cloudless summer sky. I see a fire. The mountain is on fire. But what is it burning? There are no trees, no plants of any kind on the white, rocky slopes of the mountain. Then I see it is only a small portion of the mountain that is covered in flames. It seems to be burning in a small ravine at the base of the mountain. Suddenly I see a blue-white light shoot out and collide with the flames. I cannot see the source of the light, but I know it is an ice spell, for the flames are quickly extinguished. Then I see two small children run up to stand where the fire was. They turn and I can see that they are almost identical. I cannot hear them, but they chatter to each other for a minute before one of them whacks the other on the head. Then I see Him. My blood boils as I see my one-time friend approach the children. He smiles at them and pats one of them affectionately on the head. I clench my fists until my nails dig into my palms. I wonder for the hundredth time why my Master did not allow me to kill him at our last meeting. But I say nothing. My Master seems disturbed by what he sees._

"_So, Cecil is attempting to climb Mount Ordeals," he says. _

_I say nothing; I have never heard of Mount Ordeals. My Master walks around the pool and raises his hand._

"_Come, Milon," he commands, and his deep voice echoes around the chamber._

_As the echoes die away, a fog fills the room in front of my Master. The fog is the color of earth and fills my nostrils with a smell like rotting corpses. As the fog clears, I see a large figure, cloaked and hunched like an old man. I see nothing under his hood but two small, red eyes. It holds the cloak tight about itself as it bows to my Master, and I can see one hand clutching the frayed fabric. It is a hand that should not be seen except in a 3-week old grave, bony and scabbed, the flesh hanging loosely from it. The creature reeks of death. I shudder at the sight and smell of it, and behind me I can hear her gasp, but she does not scream. She always was wonderfully brave. My Master addresses the monster._

"_As we speak, Cecil is at the base of Mount Ordeals," he says._

_The creature replies, and I shiver at the sound of its voice, at once a snake-like hiss and a groan like the cry of a dying man._

"_He intends to take the trial, then?" it says._

"_Doubtless," my Master says. "He MUST NOT become a paladin. You must stop him before he reaches the top at all costs."_

_The thing chuckles softly, if such a sinister, grating sound can be called soft._

"_Yes, my Master. My minions shall feast on his flesh before the sun rises tomorrow."_

_With that, the creature disappears in another putrid cloud._

"_No!!"_

_I turn at the sound of the scream. She is secured tightly, her arms are raised on either side of her head, tied with strong ropes, but she is struggling wildly, pulling at her bonds with all her might. I see blood start to drip down her arms, yet she does not cease to strain against the ropes._

"_Kain!" her eyes are full of tears and she turns them upon me. I want to look away, but I can't._

"_Kain, don't let them! He's your friend, Kain, please, help him!" she pleads._

_I shake my head; I can hear a new voice in my head. For so long, all I have heard is my Master's voice; I had forgotten the sound of my own voice. The voice is pleading, too, begging me to help her, to help Him even. I reach out to her. _

"_Rosa," I say._

_Then I hear the other voice. It is my own, but I hate it almost as much as I hate my Master's voice._

"_You cannot release her. If you release her, she will no longer be close to you. Don't you want her close? Don't you want to see her pretty face every day? Do you want to see her in His arms?" it sneered._

"_I can't let her suffer like this," I told it, but my resolve was wavering._

_My Master turns to me; he too can hear the voice struggling for control in my mind. He raises his hand and slowly his fingers curl into a clutching fist. I scream in pain and fall to my knees, clutching my head. My mind feels like it is crushed beneath a weight, like a man buried alive under tons of rock. I cannot think; I can no longer hear either voices. I want to die. Suddenly, the pain stops. I stand again and all I can hear is my Master's voice now._

"_Things are working out exactly according to my plan, are they not, Kain?" he smiles under his dark mask._

"_Yes, Master," I say._

_Rosa's despairing cries echo in my ears. _

Rosa couldn't sleep. They had entered the tower, and were now resting in the first safe place they had come across. The monsters here were very strong, and both she and Rydia had no strength left to cast a single spell. Rosa knew she needed to sleep, but she could not. Her arms were sore from the climb. She tossed and turned, listening to the sounds of Rydia's soft breathing beside her and Edge's snores on the other side of the flap that separated the "rooms" of the tent. Then she heard something else.

"Yes, Master."

She sat bolt upright, her eyes wide with terror. That was Kain's voice. Had Zemus somehow gained control of him again? She reached for her bow, which she always kept beside her. She only had time to touch it, however, before she heard Kain's voice again.

"No, no, I won't. Please…no…why can't I.....no…Rosa…don't hurt her!...Cecil…please…help us."

Rosa relaxed, but her eyes remained wide, fixed on the tent flap. Poor Kain!

She rose and went through to the men's side. She looked at Kain. He was on the opposite side of the tent. By the dim light of the eerily glowing walls of the tower, she could see him thrashing from side to side. She was surprised he did not wake Cecil, who was only a couple feet away from him. She heard Kain groan and mumble some incoherent words. Stepping carefully over Edge and then Cecil, she knelt down next to Kain and shook him gently by the shoulder.

"Kain."

Kain started and half sat up. She could see his fair hair and forehead bathed in sweat (it was so odd to see him without his helmet) and his steel-blue eyes stare wildly about the darkness for a moment, as if searching for the source of the voice in his nightmare, before they came to focus on Rosa's face. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Rosa, what..."

"You were having a nightmare," she explained.

"I'm sorry if I disturbed you," he said, before lying back down and turning away from her.

"Oh, Kain, don't be like that. I want to help you," she said.

"I don't need any help, Rosa; I'm fine. Go back to bed."

She sighed in frustration. _Always the same; he always has to face everything alone, doesn't he? _she thought. _Well, not this time._

"No."

Kain half turned towards her, his brows raised in surprise. Such defiance from meek, gentle Rosa!

"You...something's been troubling you today, Kain, I can tell. You've hardly spoken a word. Please tell me what's wrong."

Kain said nothing, but his eyes flickered down to her hands. She caught the movement this time. So that was it.

"You've been thinking about...about what Golbez, er, Zemus made you do, haven't you?"

"He didn't make me do anything!" Kain said angrily.

"Yes, he did! How can you say that? I know he did. I know you never would have done those things if he hadn't been controlling you!"

Kain didn't answer immediately. When he did, it was in a whisper.

"If it was absolutely impossible for me to resist him, then why didn't he take you. Or Cecil."

"I don't know! Maybe he can only control one person at once, and you were the first one he found after the earthquake at Mist."

"Yang was under his power for a short while, at the same time I was."

"Well, maybe..."

"No, Rosa. It was my fault. I tried to tell you before... If you only knew what I felt, you would understand why it is so easy for Zemus to use me. Cecil...Cecil has been like a brother to me my whole life. He's...looked after me, like no one else ever has. He has never, in all our lives, done anything to hurt me. And how do I repay him? I envy him. I...I hate him! Because he was the king's favorite. Because he was always everyone's favorite. But most of all because he has you. I love you, Rosa. I always have. And sometimes, back when we were in that...place, that accursed tower,"—here he ground his teeth, before continuing--"I felt my mind starting to regain control. I know I could have escaped Golbez's power then. But I didn't. Because I wanted to keep you close to me."

Rosa's eyes were swimming with tears. She shook her head.

"I don't believe you."

"It's true. I could have escaped. I could have saved you."

"No, you don't hate Cecil," she cried.

"Sometimes I do."

"No, you don't! Hatred is not a feeling. Love and hate are acts of the will. When you hate someone, you freely choose to harm them or wish harm upon them. When you love someone, you want only the best for them. Do you think I have never had a wicked feeling before? Do you think I have never felt envy or resentment towards anyone? I have! And so has Cecil! Everyone feels those things sometimes, Kain! It was NOT your fault!"

Kain was silent for a long while. She could see in his eyes the struggle that was going on in his mind. He wanted to believe her, more than anything, but he had been weighed down with unbearable guilt for so long, it was hard to let go. Finally, he sat up, and looked her in the eyes. She could tell that he had not quite come to terms with himself, but he seemed finally able to accept her forgiveness and friendship. For the first time in weeks, she saw the man that she had grown up with; she saw him smile.

"Thanks, Rosa."


End file.
